Aug 20, 2010
Posted on Aug 20, 2010 in fashion, the dress | 4 comments
So I never really had the thisismydress moment. And I didn’t shed any tears. But I do feel really content, happy, and even a little giddy about my wedding dress.
I LOVE the dress aesthetically, ethically, and emotionally.
Are you dying to know which dress I chose?
I chose romance
I chose ruffles
I chose the dress that makes me feel pretty
I chose independent design
I chose reuse
I chose to borrow my dress from the incredible and amazingly generous Mrs. Mouse.
And I could not be more grateful. Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you x a bajillion Mouse!
Seriously. The lady is letting me borrow her beautiful wedding dress people! That’s huge! My budget and my heart are bursting with happiness. And gratitude of a magnitude (ha!) that I find difficult to express. I LOVE that my dress was worn by another beautiful bride and that it has a history, a story, a beautiful happy past.
It’s funny, but as this little wedding journey of ours draws to a close, gratitude is the emotion I am most often overcome with.
I am so grateful to have found someone to adventure through life with. And grateful to all our friends, family, coworkers, and even random strangers (or lovely blog friends) for their support, encouragement and excitement about this grandiose adventure. It means the world the to me.
But I’m sure by now your eyes have gone crossed and all you’re reading is blah, blah, blah. So without further ado I give you my dress, and a sneak peak at my bouquet too! Feast your eyes lovelies, because this is the last you’ll read/see of my dress before the big day.
What emotion are you most often overcome with while wedding planning? And would you ever lend/borrow your wedding dress?
Aug 3, 2010
Posted on Aug 3, 2010 in fashion | 27 comments
I think I’ve mentioned my dress doubts once or twice around here. Sigh. But don’t worry, I’m *really* done whining and ready to get down to business. And what better way to make a decision than to check out all your options? That’s right folks, I said options- plural. And that’s where the gulp comes in.
When you shop for a living and you don’t want to wear a traditionalweddingdress, by which I just mean one that comes from a Bridal Shop, you have A. LOT. OF. OPTIONS. Through the spring and summer months, short white(ish) dresses jump out at you at every turn, begging to be taken home and put through their couldthisbemyweddingdress paces.
And what else can an indecisive bride do but oblige them?
Seriously, I’ve taken home nearly every white, cream or gold, short/cocktail length dress in Los Angeles, submitted it to a series of fitting photos and promptly returned it to the store. Big Sigh.
And that’s how I’ve ended up with the final three. Yes. You read correctly. Three. Many dresses entered, but only these three made it to the final round. And so with the help of Bridesmaid J (also a stylist extraordinaire) we did a little accessorizing and staged an impromtu photo shoot to determine the winner. I’m about 99% sure of my decision, but I would LOVE to hear your opinion!
So which one do you like best?
The Modern Romantic:
The French Poet (styled two ways):
The Architectural Cutie:
So again, which dress should I wear? AND are there any other super indecisive Three Dress Brides out there?
Jul 14, 2010
Posted on Jul 14, 2010 in fashion | 3 comments
So I think it’s time we revisit this whole bridesmaid situation. Clothing that is. Remember ohsolongago I debated between light, bright, or black & white? That feels like freakin’ forever ago. Yowza.
Anyhoo, in case you forgot (i almost did!) bright was the winner, and we decided that our ladies would wear a combo of plain/patterned dresses and suits in bright colors with a vintage feel. I ain’t gonna lie or pretend- we did NOT say they could wear anything they wanted. We didn’t give them our blessing and send ‘em out carte blanche into the world. Nope. We like to torture ourselves. So we went shopping.
Yes. One Saturday a few weeks ago we all piled into Lil’ Stripes Volvo and headed to the mall. I think I should tell you guys now, that while I shop for a living, (and truly enjoy it) going to the mall with my girlfriends is NOT a part of my reality. Sure it looks lovely on SATC, but we usually skip the shopping and head straight for the drinks if ya know what I mean.
So we’re at the mall for about 36 seconds before I realize that:
- I hate almost everything in the stores right now. Remember- I pretty much live in the mall.
- Not all bridesmaids appreciate this whole youallweardifferentdresses trend. It’s confusing. But whaaat color? Vintage/French/Modern/Carnival? What does that meeeeean?
- Shopping with each girl individually would have been a better idea.
- Um. We’re really at the mall now. Oh shit.
We needed drinks. And stat.
After eating in a generic butohsodisgustingly delicious restaurant we put our heads down and got to work. We sorted through the ugly, the shiny, and the fantastically expensive (and ugly) and eventually we actually ended up with a few dresses.
Clockwise from top left: Luckily Bridesmaid J shares my love for irony. Isn’t that the most fantastically ginormous bow you’ve ever seen? J is preggo (yay! congrats!) and that little avocado will probably be a pineapple come September, so we didn’t buy the dress. Not to worry- we’re having it made in a magenta raw silk a little closer to the wedding. Bridesmaid Sister L (all the way in Hawaii) still has to decide between these Modcloth dresses. Hear that L? On the off chance you’re reading: Make up your mind already! Lil’ Stripe picked this beauty out on her own (and somehow snuck a new color into our palette!) but doesn’t she just look gorgeous? And finally, all the way from Japan, Bridemaid N chose this fantastically flowered number (also Modcloth).
So yes. They’re fantastic. And our ladies are going to look stunning. And you couldn’t drag me and a herd of bridesmaids back into a mall EVER again no matter how much you paid me. And no matter how much I love our ‘maids. So it’s a good thing that this whole wedding business only happens once (knock on wood).
Not. Even. Kidding.
If you’re gonna go this route I highly recommend:
- Be less of a control freak than I am. Give the girls your blessing and send ‘em out into the world
- If you can’t (and oh how I understand your pain) and you still wanna shop, than do it one girl at a time. Individual attention and avoiding the toomanycooksinthekitchen phenomenom is key. Trust me- I’m handing out valuable trade secrets here.
- Modcloth. It’s vintagey, cheap, and easy. Post shopping trip, we browsed, emailed our remaining (naked) girls with pics of the dresses we liked, and told ‘em that if one struck their fancy to buy it and tell us which one they chose. Easy peasy awesome-sauce.
Dressing our eight ‘maids (Team Awesome?) is a trip. It’s the perfect storm of different styles, body types, personalities, and budgets. And we still have four more to go. *Deep breath. Next up, we tackle a couple more dresses, as well as vests/bowties/skinny jeans. Maybe. Jury’s still out on skinny jeans, but I’m loving the idea for a wedding!
Did you let your attendants pick their own attire? And did you have any ladies in pants? Oh! And be honest. Mixing it up-more or less stressful than sending ‘em over to Davids with a swatch of something shiny?
I
May 13, 2010
Posted on May 13, 2010 in thoughts on marriage | 6 comments
In response to my post yesterday, the very thoughtful & thought provoking Mrs. Basement pointed out that there is an icky & disturbing pattern in the gay-blogging world where the constant reiteration and celebration of two-dress brides casts dress/suit, suit/suit and well every other bride combo in a negative light.
So are we unintentionally promoting an anti butch/femme vibe by both wearing dresses? Or by being excited/emphatic about it?
I wish I could claim originality on this one, but I’m just writing from our particular position and point of view. I too agree that the wide spectrum of gender identity/expression and style throughout the gay community is one to be celebrated. But the fact remains that we ARE wearing two dresses.
And you can bet that if wearing two dresses didn’t feel authentic/genuine to us this certainly would be a different post. A post about how RAD our fillingenderstyleawesomeappropriateensemblehere.
I think for me what feels icky about asserting a super feminine gender identity and wearing a dress or rather the conflation of the two (because for the record neither of us is exactly high-femme) is the idea that as a lesbian bride you HAVE to wear a dress to make sure people know we’re still a woman. That’s the underlying icky part.
It’s like dresses are pretty and feminine and good. And suits are masculine and weird and wait, “Do you wanna be a man?” Ick.
Both the insistence that there is a distinct butch/femme dichotomy in EVERY lesbian relationship AND the dismissal/negative stereotyping of butch women by the straight (and let’s be honest gay) community sucks.
I think that the tendency of two (more feminine perhaps) women to insist on wearing dresses and emphatically blog about it might stem from the fact that literally the first question most people ask me RE: The Wedding is “Which one of you is wearing a suit?” Over and over and over. It’s like the whole (straight) world only has Ellen’s recent wedding as a reference, and damn it, Ellen wore a suit!
And yet the fact remains that we are both still wearing dresses.
So I wonder how to make sure to celebrate the awesome gender identity/expression of our community and not fall pray to the negative stereotyping that I hate so much, when our choices kind of reinforce certain stereotypes. And bust up others.
It just depends where you’re standing right? And it’s complicated.
Oh! And for the record C is wearing a suit post ceremony. And she’s gonna look hot!!
May 12, 2010
Posted on May 12, 2010 in fashion, marriage equality | 2 comments
Once a long time ago I think I mentioned that we’re both wearing dresses for our ceremony. F Stripes however is convinced that you all think she’s wearing a suit so she wanted me to set the record straight (hee hee) and treat you to a sneak peak of our two-dress affair. I am still waffling on my dress but I do LOVE how we look together! Just try to ignore our pointy feet mkay?!
And here’s a few more of the beautiful F Stripes:
And a couple more of my dress too:
Yes, I’ve mentioned this before. But it really is that that good!
A great post by Raven over on So You’re Engayged really made me stop and think about the social/cultural/whatever-the-eff ramifications of both wearing dresses to our wedding. And I LOVE IT. I love that we’re both wearing dresses and here’s why- it’s secretly subversive. How’s that you say? Even more subversive than two-girls getting hitched in a state that voted against our right to wed?
Raven put it more eloquently than I ever could, saying, “I hadn’t seen many pictures of two brides both in dresses. But every time I do… well, I know it sounds cheesy, but my heart skips a beat. Maybe there’s something about the undeniable homosexuality of that image. There’s no chance of mistaking one of the brides for a man, even momentarily.”
And that my lovelies is why I LOVE that our two-bride wedding is a two-dress affair! Make no mistake our wedding is a seriously gay affair. A no-joke, bad-ass, two girls in white mini-dresses getting hitched and making out in public affair.
The whole notion that one half of a gay couple has to “be the man” or “be the woman,” is such a heteronormative stereotype, not to mention often untrue AND nothing says take a look, we’re both girls, and we’re getting married to EACH OTHER like two white dresses. So take a good look. And let me know what you think of the dresses! 
Are you waffling on your dress decision? Making any statements with your wedding attire?
